For a long time, I lived so much outside of myself that I didn't have an h"om"e to feel safe, secure, & at peace.
Anxiety, depression, negative thoughts, addictive sexual thinking, were what I considered home.

Eleven years later, not much has changed. I still get butterflies before I teach & the music is what get's my creativity flowing.

Alcohol, promiscuous sexual endeavors & over-exercising fed this toxic cycle for my self-confidence, yet it was the only way I felt I could get out of my head & into my body.

From bongs & spinning to becoming a movement scientist, this video runs deep into ma 11 years as a personal trainer & how MBP grew into Cannabis Fitness.

To be bulimic free, a great personal trainer & to be happy is literally a dream come true.

Actually, in our muscles, tendons & ligaments too, when we honor it.
I woke up super stoked today—all giddy about the 4th of July.
It wasn't the fireworks, guns, or food that got me feeling hype...well, maybe

For a long time and even moments like today, I find myself feeling Closter phobic from family, friends, clients.

As if I can't breathe.

Over a month ago, I dove into @sisters.of.the.mermaid.moon The Crystal Priestess Entrepreneur, which got me upgradin' myself & MBP.

&& literally, look like this lol

Chilling on da beach in the sun one moment & the next a thunderstorm!

Feeling it ALL and yet still choosing if I wanna soak in the storm or dance in it.

♡ being attached to fear is much harder than living in joy

♡ you are completely perfect. Enjoy growing into you!

♡ life is Too $hort to be sad. -my mom (& my love for @tooshort lol)

On Tuesday I wrote a post about trusting yourself even when you don't know what that looks likes.

& after this morning, I'm pretty sure it looks a lot like this meme...LMAO

What I mean is I used to be afraid to drive on the highway.

Everytime I got in the car and knew I had to be on the highway, I'd start panicking.

All the "what if's" would overwhelm me & I'd be in a state of flight or fight in no time.

Sweating.
Paranoid.
Neurotic & on-edge.

I was stuck in the "do" phase for years and wondered why the f*ck things were never working out for me.

Confused, depressed, anxious, and so upset with the world for not reciprocating my needs, I felt abandoned.

Identifying and taking action on healthy commitments is something super real for me right now.

I'm finally in a space where I'm genuinely proud of myself, my work, relationships, etc.

A dear friend of mine that was a massage therapist & personal trainer passed away last year.

We worked together on and off for years at the same gym, traveled to Michigan for functional movement school

Establishing your mental, physical, emotional, spiritual & financial needs on your own is SO healthy.

It felt like I was re-wiring my brain back to homeostasis after being stuck in flight-or-flight for so long.

Today I found old videos of someone I loved very deeply.

moments captured when we thought we had it all figured out.

Here are a few pros ➕

▪︎ Modest appetite during my pre-menstrual week; usually imma a food feen.
▪︎ Mental chatter is at peace- clear thinking.
▪︎ SUPER aware of any anxiousness that starts to build. Usually, I don't notice the anxiety until I'm about to burn out or crave coffee.

For a long time, I felt disconnected from people and the world, so I ran off into the wilderness to pursue a self-sustainable lifestyle. From the east coast to the west coast, I searched