bring the sunshine
This rain and gloom
feel like doom
My mind is strong
but these days are long
Fuck the clouds!
I speak out loud
Bring the light!
so I can fight
these dark damp days
that never pay
but to sit and dream
of what tomorrow
These past few weeks have been different from most, as you can tell from the muse written above, winter has over stayed her visit, and I'm fully ready to bask in the hot summer days ahead.
We're just a few days until the Spring Equinox, and out here in the Pacific Northwest, spring likes to play a few tricks on us.
It goes a bit like this... we'll have handful of warm sunny days with big puffy clouds and then all of a sudden, it's gone in a flash;
It's wet, damp, cold and so UN-motivating. During these past few weeks, I just couldn't find the energy to be myself - to get up and get shit moving, ya know? I just wanted to mope and sigh with the cloudy sky above, as if I knew exactly how the whole PNW was feeling that day. I took it all in and just sat with it, like an old, crippled, lady that sits in her chair from day-to-day without questioning the next time she'd move.
Realizing now, that these past few weeks were indeed my own physical and mental self, transitioning into the brighter days ahead. It's like when you go through some sort of chaos in your life and all the shit hits the fan at the same time, but then something new is born and invites your mind to the greener grass on the other side.
I was being re-born, just like the buds on the trees and the bees adventuring back into their elements outside of the hive.
So instead of plunging into the traditional methods of boosting my morale with a double-shot espresso, high energy music or loathing in negative thoughts to get my ass off the couch - I just went with it.
I took a nap or took a shower, read something new or just did something creative that didn't take much physical energy from me.
I didn't beat myself up for not getting the laundry done or making my kitchen spotless.
I wasn't psyching myself out if I skipped a workout and decided to eat peanut butter sandwiches all day instead.
Alternatively, I made the decision to feel all that was consuming me those days and then simply release it.
I encouraged my mind, body and soul to just go with it, to love the most unlovable side of me that is, the lazy, moody and very introspected part of me; that just needed to disconnect even when the world is pulling me in the opposite way.
I had no energy or motivation because I was giving it all away. I was so recently overwhelmed with setting my personal boundaries of " I can only do so much, and this is all I have to offer."
So I felt it, and released the fuck out of it.
Hiding in the most unlikely spot, that's where I found my motivation, and my reset button.
Because when we find fresh motivation in unbelievable spots, we're able to empower and embrace alternative facets of our own selves that we usually never knew we had in the first place.
Next time you're feeling lazy and 'worthless' by laying all day in bed, use that time to dive deeper into yourself. Understand why you're here at this precise moment of rest, and then fabricate with your infinite potential, a way to transform your energy into something new.
" Because some days, we just gotta say 'fuck it' and let that be our only driving force of motivation"